Everything complicated

1810O7 . Thursday . 0346a.m.

I am now pressing my elder sister, Jamie's keyboard
she kindly lend me her laptop
and take the risk
cause I may spoiled her laptop
who know rite

for Jamie
I do really want to say Thank You
because she really gives me many thing
like a desktop and a camera
It do remind me about my eldest sister and bro in law too
cause they bought me my 1st camera phone
LOVEs them lots

and For sure
my parents
they are the one who sacrifice most for me
so can't really tell out what they gave me
cause it is too much to tell
and too long to list out

These days very complicated
and this holiday i not really enjoy it
cause everything also not yet be done
and many thing need to finish up
kinda emergency
really

I still remember some words from my friend
i do agree but I think different people different opinion on some other thing
for sure i din tell out because i think the conversation is open for settle that problem but not for argue on some point that I agree or not
summore it not really related to the main topic

u know
my good friend who from gang - sTarz said
if we know the ' secret ' should tell out to settle some problem
we should say out but not keep it as secret
u know
i do agree her point
but i wont do as she said
because for myself
I got different opinion about this
i think if i tell my friend my secret
i want her to keep it as her own secret
I don't wish others know
and thats my secret
she asked to keep it so she should not spread it out or tell it out
maybe this point is different for different people
but sincerely and honestly
I not want to argue on this point
just want to share my feeling and express it out
i dont think people should do as what they think is rite
cause
u can't decide for others
really

everything back to Normal
and gang - sTarZ is still gang - sTarZ
we still are 16 people in a group
we still LOVE each other deeply
and I feel sorry
I may not care enough
but i do care about
gang - sTarZ for life
* sweet *

something happened actually
and i don't know the way to handle it
I might not handle it nicely
cause i really out of idea
I don't want change anything
and deep in my heart


I LOVEs my family as well
I HEART gang - sTarZ for sure
the only one i WANT is myself

Last nite I went to temple with Dor . Kuso . Li wuen . Duck . Jasmine and Chu En .
and we went to Lemon tree and Relax cafe yum cha
I met mi xiao
this kawan don't know disappear for how long d
how surprise i saw her today
and den i met other friend also
really dunno how to react actually
with a little bit guilty
and bLur
no idea what to do
sometimes I do remember back the moment we had
cause cLose friend always have their memories also
I really do appreciate her as my bestie last time
without any reason
I leave and left no any contact number
Yesss i do feel guilty
but i know what am i doing actually
ya know sometimes i know how complicated i am
as what i told yc
dont ever belief me
really
because I also don't know the next second
will I betray or hurt myself
so how I guarantee you to trust on me ?
I can't
cause every next second i don't know what ll happened
so don't
please don't trust on me

complicated
I always want to be simple
but turn out like
I am the most complicated one ..
really

ComPLicATeD `

p/s i am so damn sleepy . until an level

signing off,
41

No comments: